all i can say is i hate my stupidity and my self pity

i look gross

i am an idiot

I was in dance class today and I caught a glance of myself in the mirror, i looked so fat i just stopped dancing, I got soooo depressed. 
After my binge this morning, I didn't eat anything else, thank god.
I figure if I write on this every single day I will binge less GOD I HOPE SO
tomorrow i am eatting only celery, for the past couple days I had some of my worst binges ever, I am surprised I still fit into my pants how pathetic.
I am going to be at the shore on Sunday and the thought of putting on a bikini makes me shrivel
I am worthless
on a different note, today was the last day for the guy who i was kind of making a relationship with to call me, but i knew somehow he wouldn't, i should learn that guys do the same shit and none of them are different.  but i need to be thin by the time i go back to school, so when he sees me, he'll totally wonder why he fucked it up

i dont really know how this works